When you can't sleep at night
by meowimapirate
Summary: Years ago Santana Lopez's life took a turn for the worse. Now trying to find a new lead for her new movie and trying to get through the darkness that haunts her sleep, will she find the one person that can change her life and save her from herself?
1. Chapter 1

You can't outrun it.

It's getting closer.

The faster you run the faster it goes.

Its right behind you.

The darkness.

Closer Closer.

"Shit!" you yell. You look around, its 3:02 in the morning. You know you won't be going back to bed anytime soon so you get up. These nightmares have been happening every night for awhile now.  
You haven't gotten a good nights sleep in so long. You're afraid to go to sleep knowing what comes when you do. The darkness. You're scared of it. It haunts you in your dreams. You fear that one day it's going to get you. You're terrified.

You left your house around 6:30 to go to the movie set. You're making a new movie but haven't found a lead role yet. Work is hard when you don't get a full nights rest but you manage anyway with 3 cups of coffee every hour. "Santana," You hear. Its Quinn your best friend since high school. She knows about your nightmares and she's been trying to help you though them. Its useless though, no one can make them go away,  
not even you.  
"Hey Quinn," You say.  
"You look even worse than yesterday," she says. You know shes right. You feel even worse too.  
"Are you sure you don't want to see anyone? Santana I'm really worried about you."  
"Quinn look i'm okay. I think it might be stress over finding this new lead for this movie. If I can just get though that then i'll be fine. I'm just really stressed out."

She didn't look convinced. She could see right though your bullshit. She knew even if you found a new lead for the movie that you wouldn't get even better, you would probally get even worse.  
"Okay. Anyway Rachel has invited us to this new club opening downtown." Rachel is Quinns girlfriend. They've been dating for a while now. You're not to fond of Rachel tho. She talks to much for your liking,  
but you deal with it anyway. Because of Quinn.  
"I don't know," you say.  
"Please Santana?" you know she really wants to go.  
"Fine," you say. "Only because we might be able to find a new lead."

When you get to the club, it's packed. Theres people everywhere. You're feel self conscious about being around all these people. Quinn has helped you hide the bags under your eyes but you still feel a bit edgy.

Quinn and Rachel leave you to go dance. You go to the bar and get something to drink. No one hear seems to catch your eye for this role. No one fits what you're looking for. You knew this would be a waste of time,  
but theres nothing you can do about it now.

As you're sitting there checking your email you feel someone tap your shoulder. You turn around and see her. The most beautiful woman you've ever laid eyes on.  
"Is this seat taken?" she asks you. You can't stop staring into her eyes. Their so blue, like the ocean. You loved swimming in the ocean when you were younger. When you realized that shes asked you something you stop your leering.  
"Um excuse me?"  
"Is this seat taken?" shes asks again. She tilts her head and looks at you strangly.  
"Oh no you can sit here," you say. You move over a bit so she has more room to sit.

Its awkward. You've been sitting there for about 5 minutes but your starting to get a little jumpy. You are about to get up and leave but then she says something to you.  
"So are you waiting for anyone? You've been sitting here by you're self for a while"  
"Oh no. My friends are out there dancing. I'm just here because i don't dance."  
"Why not?" she asks. "Dancing is fun! I love it."  
"I don't know haha," you say. "It's not really my thing."  
"is it because you're bad at it?" she asks. You can tell shes teasing by the look in her eyes.  
"Nope i'm pretty damn good at it if you ask me." Its true. When you were in highschool you danced in the glee club and was a cheerleader, but ever since the nightmares started dancing has been something that you've avoided.  
"Then show me," thats then you realize how close her face is to yours. If you leaned forward a bit you could kiss her.  
"Fine."

She pulls you out to the dance floor and finds a spot thats not as crowded. The song thats playing is a slow one. The perfect one for a little griding. So you do. Your back is pressed up against her front and your moving your hips just a bit in circles. You start to bend over and you feel her hands moving towards your hips. The song gets a little faster so you start moving faster. Shes keeping up with you, moving against your ass with the beat. The song changes and its a real fast one. You move with the song and again she keeps up. Your getting tired and you can tell she is too. Your about to stand up but then she grabs your wrist and pulls you over to the side. She sits you on a chair and you sit there staring at her. She then stradles your hips. You know what shes doing, shes giving you a lap dance. She pushes up against you, griding her center agaisnt yours. Even though your clothes you can feel yourself getting wet. Aching for more.  
Shes grinding even faster. Shes balancing herself on your shoulders and panting in your ear. Your seeing stars, you haven't felt anything like this in a long time. You don't know how long you guys have been there but next thing you know the tone of the music has changed and she starts to get up.

You don't want her to get up just yet, but you also don't want to seem desperate. She gets up and straightens out her clothes and then pulls you up. "You were right," she whispers in your ear. "You are a pretty damn good dancer." She licks your earlobe and makes her way back to the bar. Shes still holding your hand. When you get to the bar you don't know what to say. You're still in a daze from what happened before. As you're sitting you realized that you haven't seen Quinn and Rachel anywhere. You wonder where they went but before you could get to deep into your thoughts, she speaks.

"So where are you from?" she asks.  
"I'm from Ohio. I moved when I graduated and because a movie director," you say.  
"Movie director? That's so cool. What kind of movies are you working on now?"  
"Well right now I'm looking for a lead for my new movie. Once we find one then we can start production." When you finish talking you realized that this girl right in front of you would be perfect for the role. The character was suppose to be a blond hair blue eyes female with a unique glow to her personality. She had all of that.

"Thats cool," she says. "I'm a dancer."  
"Is there any possiblity that you can act as well?"you ask with a grin. Shes perfect you think.  
"I don't know but I can always try," she says. She knows what you're going for. She knows that you want her for the lead.

"Great."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

You woke up again. Screaming. Tonight was different. It talked to you.

When you woke up you saw that you were bleeding. Your nails were deeps into your skin. You stabbed yourself, in your sleep. When you pulled your nail out of your arm, blood came out. Gushing down your arm onto the bed. You didn't know what to do, you were paralized.  
You hate blood. You've hated it ever since you were little. You can't stand the blood. You need it to go away, but you can't. You're too afraid.  
"Quinn!" You yell. "Quinn!" You yell again. You probally woke the neighbors, but you can careless. You need Quinn to wake up. Theres to much blood. You can't take it much longer. You're going to passout and be engulfed by the darkness. You can't have that again.  
"Santana!" Its Quinn. She runs into your room. She sees your arm. "Shit. Santana just hold on a second." You dont think you can hold on a second. You barely can hang on now. "Rach! Get me some towels!"  
Your vision is getting blurry. Your starting to slip away.  
You can hear Rachel run into your room. "Santana hang on open your eyes!" You hear her say. She sounds so distant. Your eyes are closing, you cant keep them open. The darkness is coming. It's taking over.

"Santana!" is the last thing you here before darkness takes over your body.

You don't know how long you were out, but you knew it was probally one of the longest sleeps you have gotten in the past 10 years. The demon in your dreams, It finally showed its face. After all these years of running from it, you've finally seen its face. It looked like her.  
When you woke up, you looked around. You're in the hospital.  
"Santana," you hear your voice. You look up and find the doctor.  
"Yes," you say. You try to act confused as to what happen. You want him to believe that you don't know what happened. You don't what him to know what really went on.  
"You fainted," he says. "Your friends brought you here. What happened?"  
"I don't remember," lies. He looks at you with a look of judgement. He doesn't believe you, but before he can say anything more, Quinn walks in.  
"Santana you're awake! Is she going to be alright?" The doctor looks at Quinn, then back to you. He has something on his mind but doesn't seem to want to say it.  
"Shes free to go. No serious injuries, she'll be fine." Hes lying. You can see it on his face. In his eyes. You don't care though. You're going home. Thats all you want, to go home.

That night when you got home, first thing you did was check your phone. You have 4 text messages. A few from your co-workers and 1 from Brittany.  
_Brittany._ You think. You open it. _Hello Beautiful I had fun last night :)_. It was sent 2 hours ago. She must think your ignoring her. You think of something to say. _"Hey sorry I'm so late, I had an emergency. But I had fun too :)._  
You wait. You start to think about Brittany. That beautiful woman that so happened to be interested in you and your movie. Scratch that. You just think shes interested in the movie. No one could ever be interested in you. You're not normal.  
The phone vibrates. Shes calling you. Your debating with yourself as to if you should answer it or not.  
_"Hello?_" you say.  
"_Santana? Are you okay?_" Shes concerned. Maybe telling her that you had an emergency was a bad idea. Shes going to ask what happened. You can't tell her.  
"_Yeah i'm fine now._"  
"_What happened_?" Theres the question you've been dreading. You can't tell her what happened.  
_"I uh, fell and hit my head. Quinn overreacted and took me to the hospital, I ended up being fine and the swellings gone down alot already too._" You say. Its a believable lie.  
_"Oh i'm sorry,"_ You can hear in her voice the guilt she feels. 'Why does she feel guilty?' you ask yourself.  
"_Its not your fault_," you say. It really isn't she knows that.  
"_Still"_ she stops talking. "_What are you doing tomorrow_?"  
_"Nothing I have off..why?"_  
_"Do you want to get some lunch with me? and maybe hang out? I'd like to get to know you better._" She wants to hang out..with you and get to know you. Why?  
_"Sure._" You regreat your decision. You're going to scare her off, the girl whos perfect for the lead. The girl who you might have a little crush on. Shes going to leave once she finds out about you. You're a freak. No one wants to be around a freak.  
"_Great. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye_"  
_"Bye_" She hangs up. You're just left sitting there. Fuck. You wish you didn't say yes. You wish you've never gone to that club yesterday. Shes invaded your thoughts. She won't leave. All you can think about is her and its scaring you. Who is she?

You spend the rest of the night thinking about her. You didn't go to sleep that night, you just sat there and thought. Thought about the girl who came up to you at the club, the girl who you met last night, the girl who haunts your thoughts, the girl who might be the answer to all your problems.

**Soo yeah that was chapter 2 . Leave a review and tell me what you think ! **


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

It's weird, being outside your house. You don't go outside, only when you have to go to work. You never go outside to just walk around. You like to stay inside, in the saftey in your apartment, behind closed doors, you like to be alone. Being outside makes you feel more aleart, like at any moment you're going to be attacked. You carefully watch your surroundings, the people around you, everything. You hate it outside. If you could you would never go outside, but you promised Brittany you'd meet her for lunch so now here you are.

You're waiting, you don't know for how long, but you wait.  
"Hey Santana!" You hear. You turn around and it's her. "I'm sorry I'm late, I got lost." You look at her and can't help but chuckle. Shes too cute.  
"It's alright," you say. "Here come sit." She sits down. You can't help but stare at her. Shes beautiful. Her long blond hair, you can't help to think about how it feels, and those eyes. They're so blue, if you could you could stare into them forever. The feeling of running your hands down her body,  
bare, its enough to make tingles run down your bo-  
"Santana," you look up. Shes smirking, she saw you starting. Shit. "You okay?"  
"Uh, I'm fine."  
"You looked a little spaced out. You sure?"  
"Yeah." Silence. You don't know what to say. You feel awkward. You're just staring at each other. Waiting for someone to speak up. It makes you feel weird. All this eye contact, so you look away.  
"So hows your head?" she asks. You look at her, trying to remember what shes talking about.  
"Oh," you remember. "Its fine. I told you Quinn was overreacting. It was really nothing." Liar. You lied to her. It makes you feel like shit. You always lie, but theres something different, lying to her makes you feel terrible. You can't stand lying to her and you don't understand why.  
"Anyway are you still interested in my movie?" You asked. You wanted to change the subject, you didn't want to lie anymore.  
"Of course, but I didn't come today to talk about the movie. I wanted to talk about you." She wants to talk about you. Why? You dont even want to talk about yourself.  
"Why me?"  
"Because Santana, theres something about you. I know I've only known you for about 2 days but theres just something about you. When I saw you at the club that day there was like something about you that made me feel like you were special and different. Right when I saw you I felt attached to you. I've never felt this way before about anyone, but you just intrigue me. I don't know what it is about you, but I want to find it out. You're unique and I want to know what makes you, you."  
"Theres alot about me, things that are only for me to know. Things that you don't want to know."  
"I want to know. I want to know what secrets lie within you. I want to know it all. I know that it sounds kind of creepy but I do."  
"How do I know that I can trust you with those things?" You don't know what trust is. There was never a point in your life when you've trusted anyone. But why do you feel like you might be able to trust her?  
"You don't, but I'm going to show you that you can."  
"It's not that easy."  
"I'm always up for a challenge." You're looking at her. Her eyes are filled with determination. You barely know her, you can't help but feel the same way too. Shes different than anyone you've met.  
"Well then a challenge is what you're going to get."

* * *

You've always wondered what it would feel like to be normal. Live your life without these problems that you have to go through everday. What kind of life would you be living if you were normal. Its a question that haunts you. You used to hope you would find an answer to that question one day, but now you've realised that that's not going to happen.  
You're lying in bed. Its about 1:30 in the morning. After that conversation, you and Brittany had to cut lunch short. You got a call from work, about the new lead. You told them about Brittany and now shes suppose to come in for an audition next week. You know shes going to nail it. They're going to love her. You're doing everything you can to keep your eyes from closing. You know what happens when you do, but its not working out to well. You're exhausted. "Fuck," you say to yourself. You can't stay awake any longer.

_"Santana.." You hear its voice. It sends shivers down your spine. "Santana.." It says agian. Its close. To close. You can feel it breathing down your neck. You can't move. You're rooted in place. "Talk to me Santana..Don't be shy. We're all friends here."_  
_"Fuck you," you say.  
"Thats not very nice Santana. Mami and Papi wouldn't be very pleased with that dirty mouth of yours."  
"What are you talking about? Who are you?"_  
_"Come on Santana don't tell me you forgot all about your older sister." Older sister. It can't be. All this time it was her. "Santana we used to be so close. What happened?"_  
_"You ruined everything thats what happend! How could you?"  
"You asked for it Santana. I did what you wanted." You could finally see its face. It hasnt changed since the last time you saw it.  
"I didn't want that."_  
_"Oh but yes you did. You wanted this Santana, you asked for this. I did what you asked and this is how you repay me?"_  
_"Shut up!"_  
_"Don't be so mad at me Santana. You should be mad at yourself. You're the reason why they're all dead. Its all your fault. It will always be your fault Santana."_

You wake up. After all these years of being tourtured by it, the demon in your dreams is her. Your older sister. But why choose now to tell you?  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**chapter 3 yay. so yeah now the story is about to start getting good ;) . review and tell me what you think ! **


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Hey Santana."  
"Hey Britt."  
Brittany's at your house. You invited her over. You wanted her to pratice for her audition, well thats your excuse at least. You really wanted her over because you didn't want to be in your house alone. Quinn was gone for the week and you were terrified. You're having a hard time functioning after last night. Its all to much for you to handle.

"So tell me about this character. How does she act? What do I have to do to nail it?"  
"One question at a time Britt. The character, her name is Megan. She works at this stip club as one of the dancers. Shes the best dancer. One day this guy walks in and instantly he takes a liking to Megan. She starts to take a liking to him too. So they talk at the club, they talk outside of the club, they fuck and all that good stuff. Megan is really liking this guy. But one day when she goes to his house, she sees him fucking some chick. She kills them both. After that she becomes a psycho. She has sex with men and then kills them. So basically your character is at one point sexy, then next shes crazy and killing men. Do you think you can handle a psycho sexy lady?"  
"I can handle sexy...but psycho? I'll have to work on physcho, but I can do it."  
"Okay well lets work on sexy today since its easier and we'll get to psycho another time."  
"Okay. Is it okay if I pratice on you?"  
"Uhm yeah sure." You go and sit down on your couch. Visions of what happened that day at the club are flashing in your head. Its making you feel lightheaded. "Ready?" You ask.  
"Yeah."  
"Okay..action."

* * *

Brittany moves over to you. Swaying her hips along the way. Slowly she starts pulling her shirt off. She turns around to face you, in her bra.  
"Like what you see?" she asks. You nod. You can't help but stare at her chest. If only you were able to feel them in the palm of your hands. She walks over to you and lowers herself until her breast are in your face. She then grabs your wrist and grabs them to her back.

"_Snap_." You unsnapped her bra. She guids your hands to her shoulders and you pull her bra straps off. Her bare chest is now hanging there, directly in your face. Your hands start to roam towards them but she stops you.  
"Uh uh," she says. "No touching." She takes your fingers and puts them in her mouth, lightly sucking on them. With her other hand she starts pushing your legs apart. "Take these off," she says pulling on the fabric of your pants. You obey.

You lift up your hips and slowly start pulling down your pants. Shes starting, her eyes trailing down your body as you pull down your pants. When They're finally gone, she licks her lips. You can't help but watch how her tongue glides alogn her lips.

She starts to lower herself between your legs. Her nails are grazing along your skin then you feel her lips on the inside of your thigh rising higher and higher. You can't help but throw you head back and let out a little moan.  
"_Brit._"  
Her lips keep moving up, getting closer to that one place you need them the most. Your skin feels like its on fire with every touch of her lips and every nibble of skin she takes in between her teeth. Its enough to make you cum, but you resist.  
Shes right there, you can feel her breaths right on it.  
"Fuck," you say. She gets closer and closer and right when you can feel her nose graze against it she gets up.

You look at her, shocked. A second ago she was right under you about to do who knows what to you and now shes up putting her bra back on.  
"How was that?" she asks. It was fucking amazing until you got up.  
"Great," You say. You're still staring at her. You're to turned on to do anything else but stare at her.  
You see her look at the clock and you see her facial expression turn into a shocked one.  
"Shit," she says. She curses? "I didn't know it was so late. I have to get home."  
You look at the clock. It is pretty late. Its 11:30pm but you really don't want her to go.  
"Here let me walk you out," you say. As you start walking you realize that shes not following you. Instead shes staring at you, laughing.  
"What?" you ask. You look down at yourself and soon see what shes laughing about. You're not wearing any pants. "Oh...Can you pass me my pants?" That's embarrassing.  
"Here," she tosses them to you. You try to get them on but you're having a hard time doing so. You can here her giggling so you look up and glare at her, or at least you try to. She ends up laughing even harder under your 'glare'  
"Ha-ha very funny," you say. You can't help but chuckle a bit yourself though.  
"It is funny Ms. Grumpy pants," she says.  
"Shut up," you whine.  
"Aww come here you big baby," she walks over to you and gives you the biggest hug, rocking from one foot to the other. You can't help but feel safe in her arms, like with you in her arms the nightmares can't bother you anymore. But you know that won't happen.

That feeling last until she lets go and you can't help but feel a little upset.  
"Bye Santana," she says. You really wish she would stay the night. You hate having to spend the night alone and facing these nightmares again.  
"Bye Britt."  
She starts walking down the hall but before you can even turn around and shut your door, she runs up to you, grabs your face and gives you the softest of soft kisses.

You weren't expecting that and you didn't even think of kissing back. She must have noticed your shock because she started to pull away. _"No"_ you thought. Before she could get to far, you grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her back in, adding more force into the kiss. The feel of her lips against yours makes you go crazy inside. When she slides her tongue against your lips, it makes your knees buckle. The feel of your tongues touching, battling each other is enough to make your head spin. Eventually you both start to pull back, you needed to breathe at some point. When you open your eyes you open them to the sight of her swollen lips and messed up hair. You think she looks all to beautiful and it makes your heart swoon. Her eyes sparkle with something. Love? No its impossible to love you.

"Hi," she says, breaking the silence.  
"Hi, you say back.  
"As much as I don't want to go, I should be heading home. It's really late."  
"Stay," you say. Don't leave. You haven't felt this safe and protected in a long time. You don't want this feeling to leave so soon.  
"I don't know..Are you sure? I don't even have anything to change into."  
"I can lend you something," you say. "Seriously it's fine."  
"Okay.." she says

* * *

You lend her some clothes and a toothbrush. Shes taking a shower right now. As you wait for her to get out you realized that this was a bad idea. "_The nightmares._" you think. She's going to find out. When you wash your makeup off shes going to see the bags that live under your eyes. Shes going to regret ever kissing you. Regret everything. Shes going to think your a freak, a monster.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck,"  
"You okay there Santana?" You whip your head up and see her standing there looking at you confused.  
"Oh..Yeah I just remembered that..I forgot to record a show for Quinn. Shes going to kill me when she gets back."  
"Oh well she better not lay a single hand on you or i'll be a sad panda."  
"You're to cute," you say. She really is..  
"I know," and shes cocky.

She walks over to you and takes a seat on your lap.  
"You're really comfy," she says. "Like a human pillow."  
"Thanks?"  
"Welcome."  
You're just sitting there in silence. It feels kinda nice. You don't know how long you've been sitting there but eventually you start to her light snores coming from her. Shes sleeping, right on your lap.  
"Come on Brit-Brit lets get to bed,"  
"Nooo I don't wanna move," she says snuggling further into your chest.  
"Come on the beds a lot more comfier and there's more room."  
"Fine,"

She gets up. You walk her into your bed room and she plops down to the bed and gets under the covers. You're about to leave when she calls out to you.  
"Santana come heree," You don't know if you should. You know you shouldn't but you do so anyway. You can't bring yourself to leave her.  
Slowly you climb under the covers. When you've settled in she instantly throws her arms around your body and snuggles her head under your neck. 5 minuets haven't even passed when you noticed that shes already asleep. You know if you try to leave now she'll notice and wake up, so you have no choice to stay.

You're doing everything you can to not fall asleep. Its so hard but you have to fight it. 2:18am the clock says. Your eyes are having a hard time staying open. It's like someone put weights on your eyelids, they're so heavy. You can feel the darkness creeping into your body. You're trying to fight it, but of course you can't. You'll never be able to beat it and now once again its taking over.

"_Santana, why do you look so sad today? whats wrong?"  
"Mommy and Daddy were mean to me again. They called me names and hit me again." You remember this day. You were about 7. This is the first day leading up to that dreadful day.  
"What did they call you Santana?" It's your older sister. Shes about 14 here. This is when you first realized that something was different about her.  
"They called me bad words."  
"Like?"  
"I don't want to say it."  
"Santana..Tell me."  
"No I don't wanna!"  
"God dammit then i'll just find out for myself!" This was the first time shes ever yelled at you. It scared you. _

_You remembered when she stormed off into the house. Then you remember hearing a lot of yelling. When you finally pulled up the courage to enter the house the yelling stopped. Everyone turned and looked at you.  
Your mom had a vase in her hand. Your dads nose was bleeding, there was so much blood flowing down his face. You looked at your sister and saw her hands were covered with blood. Her face scared you. Her eyes, the love and happiness that used to roam in there was now gone. It was replaced with anger.  
You ran up the stairs, away from everyone and locked yourself in your room. You hid, you were scared that she was going to come after you next.  
You heard her start banging on your door.  
"Santana open this door now!" You didn't want to open it. She was scary. She might hurt you.  
"No!" you cried.  
"Open this door or so help me God I will hurt you!" You didn't want her to hurt you. You loved your sister so much so you opened the door for her. When you saw her again you saw that your sister was no longer there. There was someone else in her body. That wasn't her anymore. She was gone.  
"Santana look at me," you obeyed. "Promise me when mommy and daddy do something bad to again you tell me. Okay?" You nodded. "When they do i'll make sure they never do it again. Okay?" You nodded again. "Good." With that she left.  
That was the start of everything. It was the start of everything bad that would happen to you. It was the day you lost her, the first time you feared for your life. The day that would change your life forever.  
The last thing you remembered that day was your mothers cries for mercy downstairs.._

* * *

"Santana!" You hear a voice. Your eyes are still shut, but you can hear a voice.  
"Santana!" You hear it again. Its clearer this time. Its Brittany.  
"Santana wake up! Open your eyes!" Your eyes. You do everything you can to open your eyes. When you do you see her, Brittany starting back at you. Her eyes filled with fear. She looks terrified and shes gripping your hand like her life depends on it.  
"Santana..What was that?"

**so this was chapter 4. What'd you think ;) i'm already working on chapter 5 so that should be up soon. review! **


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